I think I might schedule some sleep for September.

What a Tuesday! I don’t know how in the world I am going to get used to this shift in our schedules. My days are now completely topsy turvy. To completely understand just how different my days are now, I must explain what things were like for 5 years until this summer.

Before- I would be home all day with Chloe & Jordyn. My days consisted of Chick-fil-a playtime sometimes, House of Java with the girls, laundry, cleaning, bill paying, etc. When Blair got home shortly after 3:30, I would leave for work & be home by 9 or 9:30. Worked Saturday & Sundays. I was home with the girls the majority of the time & then Blair was always with them while I was at work. My job at Lenscrafters was only part time.

Now- I wake up at 5:30 & get ready for work (I am now full time). Finish packing lunch boxes & gathering stuff for the girls for school. I then wake Jordyn & set her to task on getting herself dressed (we lay out clothes & shoes the night before). I wake Chloe next & then set breakfast out for them on the table. While the eat & watch cartoons, I inhale breakfast & coffee. Then comes the morning battle with Jordyn for her to eat breakfast. Let me assure you that there is much drama involved in this task. I dress Chloe & finish getting them & myself ready. After loading up the van with 2 backpacks, 2 lunchboxes, 2 snack packs, & 2 little girls- we are off at 7:20. The traffic on the way to school is lovely. I drop Jordyn off at Coosada Elementary & then take Chloe to FUMC Millbrook for Preschool. After taking care of dropping off the girls, I get to drive with the rest of the world down the interstate to Montgomery. Today it only took me about 40 minutes to get to work. I worked from 8:45 until 4:45 with a whole 30 minute lunch included. Then I meet the girls & Blair at home. Dinnertime, cleanup, baths, packing lunches, picking up toys, some cuddling then bedtime. WHEW! I honestly could have gone to sleep at 7:00. This coming from the night owl!

I know things will get easier with time. The girls are doing great, but mommy is having a hard time. I cried yesterday off & on until about 1 & then at work today twice (My boss likes to cuss & yell sometimes-this gave me the little nudge over the edge. Also, 2 people called in sick). Feeling so sad & overwhelmed about this change in routine has blindsided me. I thought I would instantly feel better about being out of the house & around “adults” (I put adults in quotation marks because I work with 5 guys in the lab & I am the only female).

It was nice laying in our bed with the girls, cuddling & watching cartoons. We haven’t had much family time over the years, so that was a nice ending to a looooonnnnnnggg day.

Both my babies started school today! Honestly, I thought I was going to jump up & down when I dropped them both off & had the day to myself. Well, I admit. I cried like a little baby after I dropped them both off. It is the sudden realization that my babies are growing up. I am no longer the only & primary influence in their lives. They will be under someone else’s care for 35 to 40 hours a week. It was much harder to leave Chloe because she is only 3. For Jordyn, it felt like it was time. When you turn 5, the natural order of things is to start Kindergarten. I was able to stay home with Jordyn during the day until she started school. Things are just different with Chloe. Our situation & lives are different. If I continued my work schedule the way it was (working nights & weekends), I would never see Jordyn. I would have only seen her when I dropped her off at school & a bit on the weekend. This is the best compromise that we have been able to come up with. My shift in work schedule has also allowed Blair to be able to work on his Master’s degree at night.

My heart was sad all day. I cried & cleaned house & cried & cleaned house & cried some more. I was reminded of a quote one time that said, “to become a parent is like having your heart walk around on the outside of your body for the rest of your life.” After 5 years of being a parent, I can say that I now fully understand this statement. As a parent you are always thinking about your children & worrying over you children. When your child gets hurt, you hurt. When your child gets picked on, you want to defend them. When your child goes to school the first time, you want to experience it with them. As they grow up, they start pulling away & depend on you less and less. I thought that my heart would rejoice as they became more independent, but my heart has grown sad. It is something that you can’t fully understand until you have children of your own.

Chloe & Jordyn both came home with a smiley face & not a sad face. Chloe’s paper said that she was a little fussy, but was a good helper. Jordyn’s favorite things so far are riding the school bus to daddy’s school, being the line leader & going to the bathroom all by herself. They are both completely exhausted! Jordyn is whiney & dramatic about everything. I am sure it will be like that for a few days until she gets used to her new routine & doing so many activities throughout the day.

Wow, the summer has flown by! Our summer in a nutshell:

• I started back to work full time.
• Blair finished his first term of graduate school at AUM (with a 4.0 I might add!).
• Jordyn turned 5.
• Chloe turned 3.
• We still haven’t found a church.
• Blair played super dad during the day while I worked.
• The girls spent a weekend at my mom’s house in Pensacola & enjoyed the beach.
• I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome).
• Blair & I both were stung by yellow jackets. I had a nice allergic reaction.
• Jordyn started waking up at night, alot!
• Since my schedule changed I & stopped working all nights, we had many family dinners together. The first time in 5 years we have all been home most evenings.
• Jordyn lost 2 teeth & has 2 more that are loose.
• Chloe is almost potty trained.

The summer has brought many changes & challenges. We are now preparing for the weeks to come. Blair started back work today & will start his second semester of graduate school next week. Jordyn has her first day of Kindergarten on Thursday. Chloe starts preschool on Monday. I am looking forward to all these changes because I will get a WHOLE day to myself during the week without anyone else to take care of. I work most Saturdays, so this will free up a day off during the week. Also, on the weekends where I work Sundays too, I will get 2 days!

A mother had to have come up with the phrase- “Same doo-doo, different day.”

This morning I was cuddling in the bed with Jordyn & Chloe. I looked at Chloe & told her, “Please don’t ever grow up. Just stay this cute & little forever.” Jordyn responded with, “I want her to grow up. Then maybe she won’t hit me!”

My poor Jordyn. Her little sister is so wild & overbearing. I do find it funny sometimes that the 2 year old over powers the 4 year old.

A couple of funny stories about Chloe this week.

Evidently Chloe copies me more than I realize. The other night Blair was hanging out with the girls while I was at work. Chloe was walking around with her little red, velvet purse hanging off of her arm. Blair looked down & there was a maxi pad hanging out of her purse. Luckily, they had not gotten out of the house without him realizing it.

This week Chloe & Jordyn came running into my bedroom with panties on their heads like hats. Chloe waved her arm in the air & said, “Har, har, har! I’m a pirate!” They are such little nuts!

I never know what they are going to say. Yesterday, they were in the backyard in the “leaf orchard” picking leaves for me.

The days usually bring some sort of “adventure” with the girls. Today started off great! I had some wonderful little girl cuddles while I dozed to Higglytown Heroes. I brewed some coffee & was able to hang & fold about 4 loads of laundry. At about 10, I heard screaming & crying from Jordyn in the living room. I assumed her little sister had shoved her or taken a toy away. However, I came into the living room & blood was gushing down Jordyn’s face. Jordyn evidently fell out of a small chair & had enough talent to smack her head on the exact corner of the T.V. stand. After much bleeding & screaming, I was able to load the girls up & make my way to Parnter’s in Pediatrics. You have true talent as a Mom when you can put a bra on while walking out the door & holding a rag on a bleeding 4 year old’s head. Jordyn ended up with 3 stiches right above her eye. Amazingly, she was great at the Dr’s office. She did not cry or wiggle during the whole process. The mommy is frazzled & needing some relaxation, however. Chloe was very encouraging & kept telling Jordyn, “You do a good job, sissy.” Luckily, when Jordyn looked in the mirror a few minutes ago, she giggled & then told me her forehead was asleep. I was afraid she would freak out about the bloody, stiched spot. My children never cease to amaze me with their reaction to different things.

The breakdown happened tonight. It has been a tough day with the girls. Jordyn cried for Blair off & on. Chloe & her were fighting the majority of the day, as well. Tonight I decided to take them to Chappy’s Deli, by Lenscrafters to have my job evaluation done & then to the bookstore. The breakdown officially happened on the way out of Books-A-Million. Chloe ran into a chair in the cafe & busted open her lip. It was all downhill from that moment. She screamed & cried for her daddy the whole way home to Millbrook. Her crying upset Jordyn which then made her cry which then made me cry. We had a threesome of crying the whole way home. It is so hard explaining to a 2 & 4 year old why we can’t call daddy at 8pm because it is the middle of the night where daddy is & that a call may not go through. They don’t understand that he is in another country & in another time zone. They will not officially see Blair until Sunday morning, so we have 4 more nights to go. Thank God my Aunt Donna will be in from Georgia tomorrow night. I don’t think I could make it another night after tonight without some help. I wish there was family to call on, but I feel alone in this moment. We know so many people that have parents that will come running at one simple phone call. Hopefully they do not take that for granted. It is so tough not having that support system that is able to help.

My hat is off to all single parents. I don’t know how in the world they do it. I have gained so much more respect for my mom over the years. My mother was a single parent for me when I was only a few years old. She did not finish high school nor have any major job skills at the time. She was only 17 when she had me & was probably around age 20 when she was suddenly left on her own with me. She did not have any parental support or help at all while I was growing up. Somehow she was able to take care of me. I cannot imagine what all she went through. We grew up together, I suppose. I remember turning 13 the same year she turned 30. i cannot imagine having a 13 year old in my house to take care of, much less on my own. Not to mention, I was not in any way shape or form an easy teenager to deal with…….

I love my husband & my girls & I cannot wait for Blair to be back home with us. My heart aches.

Daylight hours yesterday were actually great! After a night of no sleep, we actually all woke up somewhat energized. We met Laura & Myka at Chick-fil-a for breakfast for a bit. Jordyn just adores Myka & it took her mind off missing daddy. After that, my Aunt Teresa came into town at noon & took the girls out until 5pm. Wow that was glorious! I honestly cannot remember having any time alone in at least 6 to 8 months. I was able to go grocery shopping without fighting & fussing from the 2 monkeys. I ate lunch without a 2 year old in my lap eating off of my plate. I rearranged furniture in the house & hung some pictures up on the walls. All the laundry, vacuuming, etc was done as well. Of course, the girls did not get a nap due to the visit. Chloe has never gone a day without a nap since she was born. Needless to say, she was a grouchy bear until bedtime. I put the girls down at 8 & then settled in to scrapbook. I dozed off at about 11:30 to the sound of the television. It is so extremely quiet without Blair home! At about 12:30 I awoke to Chloe screaming her head off. I am guessing she had a nightmare of some sort. After I calmed her down, she told me good morning, that she was thirsty & wanted to go watch Maggie & the Beast with Daddy. It took until 2am to convince the 2 year old that it was in fact nighttime/bedtime. She slept with me for the rest of the night. I woke up at 6am to her an inch from my face squealing with delight, “Good Mawning, Mommy!” <—- I spelled it like that because that is exactly how she said it…..

Anyway, they have been fighting like cats & dogs today. We ran some errands & I took them to Drip & Dip for a distraction. The distraction lasted a grand total of 30 minutes. Now we are home settling in until this evening. I may brave Montgomery & the bookstore with them tonight. Without Blair home it is definitely quieter, but it certainly lacks energy & excitement. He is so loud & boisterous that his absence is that much more obvious. My house is cleaner, but I do miss the big nerd.