Bubble Baths with candles & music.
The start of fall.
Grey’s Anatomy.
Purchasing new music.
A clean house.
A whole day spent in my pajamas.
Rainy days off work.
Scrapbooking time.
Afternoon naps.
New bold gel pens.
Journals.
Flavored coffee with fat free Hazelnut creamer.
My children’s laughter & goofiness.
Google reader.
“Me” time.
Organization.
The Office.
Butterflies.

Authentic community is very painful and risky. A community of friends are mirrors of your soul. They are willing to tell you what they hear and what they see with the hope that you will become a better person and also do the same for them. It hurts.

“Next to the word of God, the noble art of music is the greatest treasure in the world. It controls our thoughts, minds hearts, and spirits….a person who…does not regard music as a marvelous creation of God…does not deserve to be called a human being; he should be permitted to hear nothing but the braying of asses and the grunting of hogs.”
-MARTIN LUTHER

• I have this weird obsession lately with binders. I organize paperwork into them & then they are alphabetized & categorized. It actually makes me happy & content to see them standing there with labels on the side. All organized.
• I cannot relax when surrounded by clutter. So basically, I am NEVER relaxed because I am ALWAYS surrounded.
• I search on Myspace for different bands & music & change my profile song like 5 times a day.
• I love buying scrapbook supplies, but rarely even get a chance to use them. The joy is in buying them & getting to stare at them & how cute they are.
• My husband wants to purchase a Mac at the first of the year & I am actually looking forward to it. (Shhhhhh, don’t tell him)
• I have an unhealthy love for flavored coffee creamers. My favorite right now is Belgian White Chocolate Macadaemia Nut. It rocks!
• I watched an entire season of Heroes on DVD in less than a week. I really need to get a life.
• I am so freaking excited to go to the Porcupine Tree concert in Atlanta next week. I mean WAY to excited for any normal human being. I even gave up buying Starbucks & eating out this week just to buy the ticket!

Some of this may be listed elsewhere on my page, but anyways….Me today!

1. I drive a minivan. Sometimes I even turn up my rock & roll the windows down & pretend to be cool.
2. I prefer email over the telephone most of the time.
3. I have a major aversion to fake people.
4. I’m a compulsive list maker. Sometimes I actually get to mark things off.
5. I hate to iron.
6. I hate to cook.
7. After drinking a latte with 3 espresso shots I can still immediately go take a nap.
8. I do have a favorite cuss word. It is a bad one.
9. I have a passion for purchasing scrapbook supplies. I would say I have a passion for scrapbooking, but I never have time!
10. I am lousy at loving myself.
11. I love hard rock, punk & folk music.
12. My red PJ pants are falling apart, but I wear them constantly.
13. My dress code for work is all black. I think I would probably wear it most days anyway.
14. I HATE clutter, but live in it. A messy husband & 3 kids are the culprit.
15. I never actually feel rested & relaxed. Mostly restless & uneasy. I can never turn my brain off.
16. I am just usually “one of the guys”. This is a good thing considering I work in a lab with all boys. I can make penis jokes with the best of them.
17. After I turned 30, for some reason I stopped caring what people think of me.
18. I am finally almost at peace with church again.
19. I really don’t like it when people do the “drop in”.
20. Sometimes I am a yelling parent, and I really hate this about myself.
21. I like my blue eyes.

What I ate for lunch today? Leftover Pizza

My fave song today? JJ Heller’s song “Everything is Changing”

Last book I read? Can’t remember, but I read tons of scrapbook mags.

What I’m Wearing Right Now? Red PJ pants & black tank top

The last restaurant I ate at was? Chick-fil-A

My fave TV shows? Grey’s Anatomy, LA Ink, Neat, Mission Organization

My current occupation? Lead Lab Tech at Lenscrafters

My dream job: Owning or managing a scrapbook store (even internet would be great). If I owned, I would have a combo scrap/coffee shop & call it Scrap a Latte’

The best birthday gift I could receive would be? an entire weekend to myself. 2 nights to myself at a hotel & someone to haul my scrap stuff up to my room.

If I had a million dollars? 1. pay off house, 2. pay student loans, 3. college funds for kids, 4. Get rid of my van & get a real car

The goals I am currently working on: Finding balance with being a working full time mom, being a good wife, mother & taking care of myself

How tall am I? 5′4″ Weight? 220 or 230, too depressing to check

My fave thing to do? sip coffee & scrapbook (NEVER have time)

I drive: 2004 Kia Sedona MInivan

2 things everyday I couldn’t live without? Coffee & I-Pod

2 things I worry about: Jordyn & Chloe

2 stores I shop at: AC Moore & Target

4 fave movies: Weird Science, Breakfast Club, Son in Law, Swordfish, Raising Arizona

Fave Bands/ Musicians: Beastie Boys / Blackfield / Damien Rice / Deftones / Evanescence / Flyleaf / Godsmack / Hurt / Korn / Lacuna Coil / MCR, Mudvayne / Mushroomhead / Opeth / Panic at the Disco / Pantera / Porcupine Tree / Rage Against the Machine / Red Jumpsuit Apparatus / Riverside / RPWL / Seether / Sevendust / Shawn McDonald / Snow Patrol / Stone Sour / Stone Temple Pilots / Submersed / Tina Dico / Todd Agnew / Tool

Biggest Challenges I have been through: Facing Cancer with my father & Marital difficulties as a newlywed

1. Losing Blair

2. Losing one of my Children

3. Cancer

4. House fire & losing all of my pictures

5. Never being thin again

6. Dying, standing before Christ & realizing I have it all wrong

7. Never feeling confident or good about myself again

8. Never finding that church that feels like home

9. My children as adults not wanting me to be a huge part of their lives

Scenes of you come rushing through
You are breaking me down
So break me into pieces
That will grow in the ground
I know that I deserve to die
For the murder in my heart
So be gentle with me Jesus
As you tear me apart

Teach me to be humble
Call me from the grave
Show me how to walk with you upon the waves
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains

I have had a really long, busy, stressful week at work. The other day while leaving I commented to Blair that I sure hoped the house looked better, not worse when I got home from work.

His response, “I will make sure to turn off all the lights so that it is dark when you get home.”

He is such a nerd!

Romans 14 from the Message

¹Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with–even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.

²For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume all Christians should be vegetarians and eat accordingly. ³But since both are guests at Christ’s table, wouldn’t it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn’t eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. ⁴Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God’s welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help.

⁵Or, say, one person thinks that some days should be set aside as holy and another thinks that each day is pretty much like any other. There are good reasons either way. So, each person is free to follow the convictions of conscience.

⁶What’s important in all this is that if you keep a holy day, keep it for God’s sake; if you eat meat, eat it to the glory of God and thank God for prime rib; if you’re a vegetarian, eat vegetables to the glory of God and thank God for broccoli. ⁷None of us are permitted to insist on our own way in these matters. ⁸It’s God we are answerable to–all the way from life to death and everything in between–not each other. ⁹That’s why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other.

¹⁰So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I’d say it leaves you looking pretty silly–or worse. Eventually, we’re all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your critical and condescending ways aren’t going to improve your position there one bit. ¹¹Read it for yourself in Scripture:

“As I live and breathe,” God says,
“every knee will bow before me;
Every tongue will tell the honest truth
that I and only I am God.”

¹²So tend to your knitting. You’ve got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God.

¹³Forget about deciding what’s right for each other. Here’s what you need to be concerned about: that you don’t get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is. ¹⁴I’m convinced–Jesus convinced me!-that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it.

¹⁵If you confuse others by making a big issue over what they eat or don’t eat, you’re no longer a companion with them in love, are you? These, remember, are persons for whom Christ died. Would you risk sending them to hell over an item in their diet? ¹⁶Don’t you dare let a piece of God-blessed food become an occasion of soul-poisoning!

¹⁷God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy. ¹⁸Your task is to single-mindedly serve Christ. Do that and you’ll kill two birds with one stone: pleasing the God above you and proving your worth to the people around you.

¹⁹So let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; ²⁰don’t drag them down by finding fault. You’re certainly not going to permit an argument over what is served or not served at supper to wreck God’s work among you, are you? I said it before and I’ll say it again: All food is good, but it can turn bad if you use it badly, if you use it to trip others up and send them sprawling. ²¹When you sit down to a meal, your primary concern should not be to feed your own face but to share the life of Jesus. So be sensitive and courteous to the others who are eating. Don’t eat or say or do things that might interfere with the free exchange of love.

²²Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don’t impose it on others. You’re fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. ²³But if you’re not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe–some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them–then you know that you’re out of line. If the way you live isn’t consistent with what you believe, then it’s wrong.