Here is the latest update on my father in law. This is an email update that my mother in law sent out today, Tuesday.

I have copied and pasted an article below from relevantmagazine.com. I read this article this morning & it really struck a cord with me….

I am a complete mess.

That is how I’ve felt lately. I don’t think anyone else thinks so, which in some ways is maybe what is so tragic about it.

I have a friend who doesn’t hide it from anyone that she’s got issues. It seems like every time I talk to her I feel like I’ve been puked on. She tells me the trashier details of her life. She tells me about the guy who she went home with last weekend after a night of clubbing. She calls me frantically when she is afraid that she is pregnant or contracted an STD. She complains about the squishy part of her hips that never disappears despite her obsession with aerobics. She asks me if she should consider liposuction. She shows me her latest round of credit card purchases from Nordstrom’s, and then tells me she’s considering filing for bankruptcy.

I look like a porcelain doll compared to her. But, the porcelain is beginning to crack …

Lately, life has been overwhelming and incomprehensible, and it scares me. I’m afraid to even have a plan or a dream because I’m afraid of being wrong. I’ve been wrong so much lately it seems. I don’t know as much about what I want as I think.

My compassion occasionally grants people the right to walk all over me. My ambition sometimes chokes my relationships, because I forget to slow down and really see people. My goal of excellence pushes me too far, and before I know it I’m expecting perfection from others and myself. My optimism causes me to be hurt by life’s disappointments and failures. My feisty character sometimes causes me to say or do things I regret later. My thirst for knowledge often turns to arrogance. My desire to be known sometimes causes me to act self-important. My self-consciousness prompts me to hide. My independent spirit sometimes alienates people when I actually really need them.

It seems like lately I’ve been erring on the wrong side of my personality, like life is all leaning in one direction, like gravity is pulling me downward when I’d really like to learn how to fly. I’m discovering more and more flaws, more and more things I need to work through.

And I cry out to God to heal me, to give me wisdom in the complexities of life, to grant me the courage and humility to apologize, to allow me to see myself truthfully. Yet, I’m still wrong sometimes. I hurt other people. I hurt myself. I hurt God.

It’s never made sense to me that God would guide me to be wrong. So, I’m surprised at how often I muddle up the things I feel very strongly that God has led me to do. But, at the same time, I don’t regret any fumbled steps. I know God was there with me for each stagger. Maybe it’s possible for God to guide us to do things even though He knows we’re going to flounder and blunder our way through it. Maybe that’s what God’s grace looks like—it fills the gap between our bumpy, messy lives and His glory.

My faults, my failures, my fumbles and my messes … That is where the glory of God comes in and illuminates, not for the sake of my knowing or understanding life, but for my seeing the greatness of God.

Maybe my mistake is in thinking I have to look like porcelain in order for God’s glory to be evident. Maybe I actually have to allow myself to be seen as the mess I really am. Because in my weaknesses, in the cracks in the porcelain, others may see the power and goodness of God.

I doubt I’ll ever think it wise to spill the messy details of my life into just anyone’s lap like my friend does. But, do I spare people the details just to maintain a façade?

I let only a select few into the mess, and I’ve realized that sometimes I shut out the very ones I want in just because I’m afraid that their own lives which look so neat on the surface would be soiled by mine.

And the friends I admire the most are the ones who have allowed me to see their flaws. It is their transparency and their struggle with the mess that I respect. They don’t deny it, but they don’t excuse it either. They fight to be sure that God’s glory can shine even brighter in their lives.

Like me, they would probably claim to have messy lives. But, I don’t see that. I see God’s goodness, His power, His mercy.

May we all give God room to get the glory in our broken, messy lives.

My father in law just arrived at UAB Hospital in B’ham a few minutes ago. Will post down below most of what Blair typed earlier today. I have pneumonia & am taking care of the girls tonight & in the morning. I cannot just have one problem at a time….

Blair’s bulletin from this morning:
My last update told you that Dad would be allowed to go home on Sunday afternoon if he had a good night on Saturday night and a good morning Sunday morning. He had neither. Due to the lack of heart function, he is retaining too much fluid. Though they are giving him diuretics, the heart is not pumping with enough strength to get the fluid circulated through the kidneys and out. Saturday night, I stayed with him, and he had quite a long coughing fit as he tryed to get his breath. All I could do was pray for him, pray with him, and help the nurse. The nurse finally decided to give him some oxygen, and that helped a bit.

Sunday morning, Dad was told that he would not be going home as he had hoped. He began to negotiate with the doctor… he asked if it would be possible to go home for a day or two instead of staying home until Friday. The doctor told him, “When you are well, you can come back and yell at me. Until then, I am going to make the best decisions possible even if you don’t end up liking them.” The family was happy because we didn’t want him sending Dad home in the first place. The doctor told us he would speak with UAB on Monday morning and see how quickly they could get Dad in.

The doctor came in this morning and told the family that Dad would be transported to UAB today. If we can get him up there soon enough, they will conduct some tests and do bypass surgery tomorrow. Regardless, they will be doing surgery as soon as possible.

Wow! This is finally the first post of the new year. I have high hopes for this year, but I just have to tell ya…..not that great thus far!

It has been one hell of a week. One of Blair’s students, Sean Dennis (a senior), was killed in a car accident this past Sunday night. We have seen how something of this magnitude can impact a small community. There was at least 700 people in attendance at his service this past Thursday night. Blair has lost several students over the years, but for some reason this time it really touched/burdened him. With that starting off our week, it is only natural that one of the girls would get sick. Chloe had strep until Thursday & was finally able to go back to preschool. Now I have a sore throat and fever to start off this weekend! YAY!

As if all that wasn’t enough to stress us out, Blair’s father is in the hospital. Larry went in this past Tuesday for tests & then was admitted to the hospital Wednesday afternoon. Originally, he was told that his heart appeared to be about 30% enlarged & that there was some problems with his liver. They help him get rid of a ton of fluid which seemed to help him feel better by Thursday. Today (Friday), Blair’s dad had a heart cath. performed. We honestly weren’t expecting the news we received at all. We were rather blindsided. The test showed a complete blockage of 3 of the main arteries, a small percentage of flow/function of the heart, and a blood clot within the heart. The main concern is that the heart is too weak for any type of surgery. Plus, a blood clot can be a major problem. The heart specialist is supposed to come around the hospital around 10am tomorrow to tell is what to expect. Everyone, please pray! Blair’s dad is only 63 & has many years of spunk & meanness left in him. We are so fortunate that Larry is in the hospital here in Montgomery & we are able to be up there alot this weekend. My Aunt Teresa in Pelham has been such a blessing & is keeping the girls for us so that we don’t have to worry about who to watch them, etc.

This is gonna be a good year! Obstacles be damned!