I think I might schedule some sleep for September.

What a Tuesday! I don’t know how in the world I am going to get used to this shift in our schedules. My days are now completely topsy turvy. To completely understand just how different my days are now, I must explain what things were like for 5 years until this summer.

Before- I would be home all day with Chloe & Jordyn. My days consisted of Chick-fil-a playtime sometimes, House of Java with the girls, laundry, cleaning, bill paying, etc. When Blair got home shortly after 3:30, I would leave for work & be home by 9 or 9:30. Worked Saturday & Sundays. I was home with the girls the majority of the time & then Blair was always with them while I was at work. My job at Lenscrafters was only part time.

Now- I wake up at 5:30 & get ready for work (I am now full time). Finish packing lunch boxes & gathering stuff for the girls for school. I then wake Jordyn & set her to task on getting herself dressed (we lay out clothes & shoes the night before). I wake Chloe next & then set breakfast out for them on the table. While the eat & watch cartoons, I inhale breakfast & coffee. Then comes the morning battle with Jordyn for her to eat breakfast. Let me assure you that there is much drama involved in this task. I dress Chloe & finish getting them & myself ready. After loading up the van with 2 backpacks, 2 lunchboxes, 2 snack packs, & 2 little girls- we are off at 7:20. The traffic on the way to school is lovely. I drop Jordyn off at Coosada Elementary & then take Chloe to FUMC Millbrook for Preschool. After taking care of dropping off the girls, I get to drive with the rest of the world down the interstate to Montgomery. Today it only took me about 40 minutes to get to work. I worked from 8:45 until 4:45 with a whole 30 minute lunch included. Then I meet the girls & Blair at home. Dinnertime, cleanup, baths, packing lunches, picking up toys, some cuddling then bedtime. WHEW! I honestly could have gone to sleep at 7:00. This coming from the night owl!

I know things will get easier with time. The girls are doing great, but mommy is having a hard time. I cried yesterday off & on until about 1 & then at work today twice (My boss likes to cuss & yell sometimes-this gave me the little nudge over the edge. Also, 2 people called in sick). Feeling so sad & overwhelmed about this change in routine has blindsided me. I thought I would instantly feel better about being out of the house & around “adults” (I put adults in quotation marks because I work with 5 guys in the lab & I am the only female).

It was nice laying in our bed with the girls, cuddling & watching cartoons. We haven’t had much family time over the years, so that was a nice ending to a looooonnnnnnggg day.

Both my babies started school today! Honestly, I thought I was going to jump up & down when I dropped them both off & had the day to myself. Well, I admit. I cried like a little baby after I dropped them both off. It is the sudden realization that my babies are growing up. I am no longer the only & primary influence in their lives. They will be under someone else’s care for 35 to 40 hours a week. It was much harder to leave Chloe because she is only 3. For Jordyn, it felt like it was time. When you turn 5, the natural order of things is to start Kindergarten. I was able to stay home with Jordyn during the day until she started school. Things are just different with Chloe. Our situation & lives are different. If I continued my work schedule the way it was (working nights & weekends), I would never see Jordyn. I would have only seen her when I dropped her off at school & a bit on the weekend. This is the best compromise that we have been able to come up with. My shift in work schedule has also allowed Blair to be able to work on his Master’s degree at night.

My heart was sad all day. I cried & cleaned house & cried & cleaned house & cried some more. I was reminded of a quote one time that said, “to become a parent is like having your heart walk around on the outside of your body for the rest of your life.” After 5 years of being a parent, I can say that I now fully understand this statement. As a parent you are always thinking about your children & worrying over you children. When your child gets hurt, you hurt. When your child gets picked on, you want to defend them. When your child goes to school the first time, you want to experience it with them. As they grow up, they start pulling away & depend on you less and less. I thought that my heart would rejoice as they became more independent, but my heart has grown sad. It is something that you can’t fully understand until you have children of your own.

Chloe & Jordyn both came home with a smiley face & not a sad face. Chloe’s paper said that she was a little fussy, but was a good helper. Jordyn’s favorite things so far are riding the school bus to daddy’s school, being the line leader & going to the bathroom all by herself. They are both completely exhausted! Jordyn is whiney & dramatic about everything. I am sure it will be like that for a few days until she gets used to her new routine & doing so many activities throughout the day.

Wow, the summer has flown by! Our summer in a nutshell:

• I started back to work full time.
• Blair finished his first term of graduate school at AUM (with a 4.0 I might add!).
• Jordyn turned 5.
• Chloe turned 3.
• We still haven’t found a church.
• Blair played super dad during the day while I worked.
• The girls spent a weekend at my mom’s house in Pensacola & enjoyed the beach.
• I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome).
• Blair & I both were stung by yellow jackets. I had a nice allergic reaction.
• Jordyn started waking up at night, alot!
• Since my schedule changed I & stopped working all nights, we had many family dinners together. The first time in 5 years we have all been home most evenings.
• Jordyn lost 2 teeth & has 2 more that are loose.
• Chloe is almost potty trained.

The summer has brought many changes & challenges. We are now preparing for the weeks to come. Blair started back work today & will start his second semester of graduate school next week. Jordyn has her first day of Kindergarten on Thursday. Chloe starts preschool on Monday. I am looking forward to all these changes because I will get a WHOLE day to myself during the week without anyone else to take care of. I work most Saturdays, so this will free up a day off during the week. Also, on the weekends where I work Sundays too, I will get 2 days!