I am not one of those adventuresome people that loves change. I love my routine & my comfort zone. I am afraid this year is going to be the “year of change”. I feel uneasy, but somewhat excited. We have had the same routine & schedule for so long. I have worked at Lenscrafters for 6 years & have been a part time employee for the last 4 years (since Jordyn was born). This means I work nights & weekends. Blair & I decided to have this schedule because we wanted to keep Jordyn & then Chloe out of daycare. I wanted to be home with them, plus daycare can be so expensive. Of course, this has not allowed us to have much family time all together. The girls are in bed when I get home from work & I usually see Blair for an hour to hour & a half before he goes to sleep. I get time with the girls myself, he gets daddy time with the girls one on one, but there is no time all together.

This year there are many changes on the horizon that will allow us some time together, but will also add to the busyness as well. Change #1: Blair will be starting work on his Master’s Degree this summer. This took alot of prayer & consideration. Blair has said for so long that he didn’t want to be in the classroom forever, but he is continually drawn back there. In order to ever make any more money in his field, he will have to further his education. I am proud of him for making this decision. It will require some hard work & dedication, but it will benefit so much in the long run. Change #2: Jordyn will be starting Kindergarten this fall. I am so excited for her. I just cannot believe she will be 5 this summer. They truly do grow so fast! She is definitely read to start. She is so inquisitive & loves to do art! Since Jordyn will be starting school this fall, it has led to Change # 3 & 4. I will be starting back to work full time! I am excited in some ways, but will be sad not to be able to spend as much time with the girls. I am hoping to get a schedule at Lenscrafters that will allow me most nights & every other weekend off. This would enable Blair to take classes at night & give us some family nights, study time for him & some weekends together. Part of the work thing makes me nervous. I really enjoy where I work & have been there for over 6 years. Unfortunately it is retail hours & I don’t know if they will be able to work this out with me or not. I really do hope so because I love the people I work with in the lab & consider them part of my “dysfunctional” family. We will just have to see what happens as time gets closer. So me working full time was Change #3. This led to Change #4. Chloe will be starting daycare when school starts. Chloe is my baby & I have felt some guilt over this decision. I was able to stay home with Jordyn until she was five, but will start Chloe in daycare at age 3. In order to be able to spend any time with Jordyn after school starts, I knew my schedule would have to change sometime. The way things stand right now, I would only see her on the way to school & Sat. night & Sunday nights. I cannot sacrifice being able to spend any time with her just to stay home with Chloe during the day. Putting Chloe in daycare & changing my schedule to evenings off seemed to be a good compromise of sorts. Chloe is so wild, friendly & hyper that I know she will love daycare. She is already running around & shouting, “I going to daycare!”

Most of these changes will not even start until the Summer & then Fall, but I am already uneasy. I am a worry wart deep down & stress over things. I know these are all the best decisions overall for the family, but I am still sad that my girls are growing up. We have decided that we will not have any more babies, so seeing the little monkeys grow up makes me sad. These are the last few months home with my little girls. Even though the days are long & sometimes so difficult, I know I will miss them in a few months.

I love my family. Even through the changes, we are together & we are family.