Random things for today:
I am so incredibly exhausted right now. When I am at work, I am thinking about what I need to get done at home. When I am home, I am thinking about what I need to get done at work.
I just really Love, Love, Love coffee. Especially with white chocolate or flavors of some sort.
Jordyn, the 7 year old, got her first pair of glasses today. Hot pink ones!
I think Chloe is incredible cute and growny looking with her 2 top teeth missing.
I am tired of having a dirty house, but just do not have the energy to deal with it.
My nightstand is starting to look like Blair’s with crap piled all over it.
I want to go to a concert soon! I enjoy girl’s night outs and live music.
What is that smell coming from the kitchen trash? Scary.
I miss Jack. He is still my pastor even though he is not my pastor right now.
I want another tattoo. I am broke.
My pillow smells funny. The drooling needs to stop!
I still watch Saturday Night Live. I wonder if I am the only one that still does?
I have jumped on the Twilight bandwagon. I swore that I wasn’t but I watched the movie last night and now want to read all the books.
I ate mexican food tonight and think I inhaled a whole basket of chips. My Weight Watchers points tracker is going to explode!
I have been on WW about 6 weeks. I have only felt full once in that whole time!
Hearing of people dealing with cancer makes me sad.
I am now on Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, Google Reader and a blog. I also now exclusively use Apple computers. I blame Blair for turning me into a geek.
I like to go into the bathroom after Blair gets ready for work because it smells so awesome.
It is 9pm on a Saturday night and I could so go to sleep right now.
Blair is now down to 200 pounds. I am so happy and proud for him but so jealous at the same time. I hate that men lose weight faster. It is overwhelming and frustrating.

This is Blair, Miranda’s husband. I am highjacking her blog today. I figured somebody better write on it since she doesn’t anymore!

I love her so much that describing it to her, to you, or to anyone seems like an impossible task. How can I describe something so deep as my feelings for this woman using something so inadequate as mere words? No matter how much I say, I know that I will leave something unsaid.

I love how even when I have seen some of the most incredible sites in the world (Stonehenge, the Tower of London, the Eiffel Tower, the Cathedral of Notre Dame, la Sagrada Familia, the Sistine Chapel), they all seemed empty because she was not there to share the experience with me.

I love that she has encouraged me to travel, though she didn’t want to go.

I love how she knows me, even better than I know myself. When all is wrong in my world, as it some days seems to be, being held by her is the safest place to be.

I love how she still laughs at stories she has heard a thousand times, even if she does give me a hard time for telling the same stories over and over.

I love how she is the one I think of whenever a love song comes on the radio.

I love how she pretends that I am her knight in shining armor, even though most days I feel like the king’s fool.

I love how when she is playing around and goofing off with me, she sometimes speaks in a little girl’s voice. For a split second, I see her as a little girl that I never knew.

I love how she shares my life with me. Good and bad, she is there. She makes the bad a little bit less so by dividing it with me, and she makes the good better by multiplying it.

I love how she says, “We’ll see,” even though she knows I am going to harass her by responding “We’ll see means ‘No!’”

I love the fact that twelve years later, she is still my bride and not just my wife.

I love how sometimes in the middle of the night, she reaches out just to touch me.

I love the fact that she is mine. Of all the men in the world, she chose me. She still does.

I love that she is the last person I see at night and the first person I see in the morning.

I love how she holds my hand, lays her head on my shoulder, and hugs me back.

I love that I would rather be doing anything with her than anything without her.

I love how no gift she ever gives me will ever compare to the gift she has given me of herself.

I love that she is a better mother to our girls than I could dream of.

I love that she makes regular coffee instead of flavored coffee because she knows I prefer the regular. She prefers the flavored.

I love that she makes our house a home.

I love that she is constantly trying new things and trying to improve herself.

I love her sarcasm, though I don’t like to admit it.

I love the way she makes me whole.

I love her eyes, and I could get lost in them for days.

I love her handwriting.

I love her.

“You’ve go to be who you are no matter how dangerous it is.”
~Lawrence Weiner

Bubble Baths with candles & music.
The start of fall.
Grey’s Anatomy.
Purchasing new music.
A clean house.
A whole day spent in my pajamas.
Rainy days off work.
Scrapbooking time.
Afternoon naps.
New bold gel pens.
Journals.
Flavored coffee with fat free Hazelnut creamer.
My children’s laughter & goofiness.
Google reader.
“Me” time.
Organization.
The Office.
Butterflies.

Authentic community is very painful and risky. A community of friends are mirrors of your soul. They are willing to tell you what they hear and what they see with the hope that you will become a better person and also do the same for them. It hurts.

~You cannot know that which is most beautiful in yourself unless you are willing to name that which is most hideous. ~

Dan Allender

“Next to the word of God, the noble art of music is the greatest treasure in the world. It controls our thoughts, minds hearts, and spirits….a person who…does not regard music as a marvelous creation of God…does not deserve to be called a human being; he should be permitted to hear nothing but the braying of asses and the grunting of hogs.”
-MARTIN LUTHER

Well, I officially have a Kindergartner and 2nd grader. My girls are growing up so fast. I was emotionally okay until Chloe’s hair was up in pigtails and she put her huge backpack on. That Hannah Montana backpack is as big as she is! Chloe also told me, “I want to get dressed in my room so that nobody sees my privacies!”
Jordyn is “super duper” excited! She is claiming that she is going to walk to her class by herself the first day. We will see!

Time for a little “me” update. I wasn’t updating my blog or on the internet much for a while. In fact, I deleted my Myspace page (gasp!). Basically, I had been spending time trying to get my crap together. I have posted many times over the last year about a struggle with depression. I finally have gotten off of my ass and have been trying to do something about it. Blair & I started seeing counselor some months back & I started taking Lexapro. I hate medication, but have realized that if it makes me a happier person & better wife & mother then I have no choice. The history of depression & mental illness on both sides of my family is rather astounding. So, I sucked it up & I am better for it. It is still a journey but one with much less crying & anxiety.

I realize also that I needed to stop creating who I thought I was supposed to be and start discovering who I really am. I feel deep in discovery. I have been a Christian since the age of 18. Along with that, I made up all these rules & ideas of what I thought a Christian was supposed to look like & act like. I am finally at the realization that I have to be who God has specifically called Me & ONLY Me to be. I am not the cookie cutter, dress wearing, only King James Version toting Christian. I have tattoos & love rock music. I drop the “F” bomb on occasion. I like a beer every once in a while. But guess what? THAT IS OKAY. I love God! God loves me! As simple as that.

Me. For better or worse, here I am.

Chloe’s prayer tonight:

“Dear Gawd, Please help Angeleeekey to feel better if she has diarrhea even if she wets her pants. And I love Jordyn. A-man.”

For the record, Chloe hasn’t seen her preschool friend Angelique in months! We have tried to teach the girls that they can pray about ANYTHING and tell God anything they want. This was one of those nights where I could not stop giggling after the girls left the room after prayer time.